Why I’m Starting a Sibshop

My middle child’s regression came on quickly. It took us all by surprise and rocked our world. After my husband and I each went through our own confusion followed by stages of grief and desperately trying to figure out what was going on, I saw the emotional wake reach my eldest child. He, too, was facing confusion and fear and intense sadness. Yet where I had my husband to cry to at night, the internet to peruse for ideas of where to turn to, and a way to feel less alone by connecting with other mothers on social media, my son had…nothing. He’d lost his best friend, his little brother, as he knew him. Without a diagnosis and words to explain exactly what was wrong, it was hard to give him the answers that eluded us too. He craved knowledge. He felt lonely and misunderstood. He began to struggle in school. He had more sad days than ever before.

I got my head out of the sand, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and began looking into ways I could help my son with the issues that he was facing because of his brother’s new disabilities. I read some great books and researched online. The book I read, “Being the Other One”, had a resource section in the back. Most of the advice centered around joining Sibshop. When I looked up Sibshop, I found there were none anywhere close to where we live. Then I saw that I could be trained as a facilitator. So, many months later, here we are.

It has been wonderful learning more about siblings and the challenges they face. Siblings will be in each others’ lives longer than anyone else. After their parents age and/or pass, siblings are usually the ones who take on the full time care of their disabled sibling. They learn resilience, empathy, strength, and acceptance through their experiences.  Sibshop can help children feel less alone, get ideas from their peers about how to handle bullies, embarrassment, and other uncomfortable situations they face often. They have a chance to make memories and friendships with other kids who innately understand them and their family life. And they can learn about services their siblings use and about other disabilities. I’m so excited to meet some of these amazing kids and help them bond with and help one another.

My biggest hurdle has been finding a place to host these sibshops. But I’m working on it and we will be launching soon!