“What are you doing to take care of yourself” is a question I’ve been asked, with the sweetest intentions, from friends and acquaintances. My child’s pediatrician told me to drink more water. A relative told me to get my hair and nails done. A friend told me I should go on dates with my husband. But within the realm of self-care, you have to take your own reality into account. What season of life are you in? I feel like it’s one more thing to worry about, my self-care. My grays are showing, which annoys me, but I don’t have the time to be at a hair salon for 3 hours. And I don’t like sitting in nail salons – it stresses me out to not know what’s happening at home or to be missing work hours. Who will watch my children or drive my son to therapies when I go to the gym?
So, for me, I change my mindset. I don’t get to clean myself every day, but when I do, it’s a bath with a couple minutes of journaling while I soak. Or when my child is having a meltdown and needs to be held tight to calm his sensory overload, I strap him on my back with a Kinderpack and take a long, leisurely walk to clear my head while helping him. In the rare moments when all three of my children are occupied, I have a cup of coffee and, if we’re both home, a conversation with my husband. These little moments that allow me to take some deep breaths, feel the sunshine on my skin, and remember all the good there is around me, are my self care. And that’s okay.